Naqsh Faryadi

Between food and opium: What Pakistani liberals fail to understand

2011-02-20T16:42:00.000-08:00

This article was first published for The Express Tribune, Pakistan here

There’s something Newtonian about the way Pakistani political discourse is being carried out these days. At one end is the ‘ghairat brigade’, with their twisted ideology and their usual diatribe against the liberal fascists – a term which is about as meaningful as a Vegan BigMac.
On the other end are the liberals ( fascist or otherwise) who might not be as reprehensible as their bearded cousins, are equally redundant with their staid arguments, essentially revolving around the ‘Quaid’s vision’ and his speech to the Constituent Assembly.
Fundamentally, I do not have an issue with the arguments of the liberal camp. In fact, I think they make perfect sense in their arguments. The only issue I have is with their approach. Of late, ongoing debates between the two sides have split along predictable dichotomies like:
religious versus secular,
Jinnah versus Maudoodi,
left versus. right etc.
The vehement arguments of one side are responded to by equally vociferous counter arguments of the other. This has only exacerbated societal tensions.
In fact, by getting sucked into this mud slinging, we have unwittingly fallen into a trap. The liberal’s so called ‘la-deeniyat’ gives the other side fodder for their ‘Islam is in Danger’ claptrap, and their shrill voices further reduce the already shrinking space for an intelligent discussion.
Change the subject: Policy instead of ideology
Instead of opposing each other, let us fashion the debate on our own terms. Instead of talking about ideology, let us talk about policy. Instead of talking about Islam versus secularism, why not talk aboutroti, kapda’and makan’?
Instead of talking about “Pakistan ka matlab kya?” let us ask “Pakistan ka maqsad kya?”.
After all, history has shown that extreme obscurantist ideologies have been used as diversionary tactics when the political class fails to address the basic socio-economic needs of the populace. As they say, if you can’t give the masses food, give them ‘opium’.
The liberal mistake: secularism can’t be imposed
Another fundamental problem in the liberals’ argument is their over emphasis on constitutional amendment as a means to ‘secularising’ Pakistan. Not only do the prospects of such drastic changes in the constitution appear bleak at the moment, but even in the rare case that the liberals are successful, I have my doubts about the efficacy of such a measure. On the contrary, a top to down approach to secularism might backfire and could be viewed as an ‘elite project’ by the masses. The success of a secular state is predicated upon the extent of ‘toleration of plurality’ in society as a whole. Hence I would argue that amending school textbooks instead of the constitution might be more effective in making Pakistan ‘secular’.
As recent events in Egypt and Tunisia have shown us, the only antidote to the coercive power of the state is a sustained non violent campaign spearheaded by the masses, not politicians. Left on their own, elites (whether religious or conservative, uniformed or civilian) everywhere are prone towards furthering their personal agendas. True democracy is never something which is given to the masses; it is a right which the masses give to themselves. The future course of Pakistan depends not so much on the whims of its tiny elite population but the action (or inaction) shown by its millions.

Between food and opium: What Pakistani liberals fail to understand

2011-02-20T16:37:00.000-08:00

This article was first published in The Express Tribune, Pakistan here

If not love, let frenzy be

2011-02-20T16:33:00.000-08:00

This article was first published in Himal Southasian here

There are some poets who speak of revolution, some who speak of love’s misery, some who are concerned with life, and then, there is Mirza Ghalib. Ghalib, or Mirza Nausha as he was sometimes called, is for me the poet of frenzy, the poet of madness. The frenzy of ishq(love), the frenzy of being, and the frenzy of fana (self annihilation).

Before I write further, I think I should add a disclaimer that I am no expert on Ghalib (Besides God, I doubt if there ever was one!), but merely an aficionado. Hence, some of my thoughts might be written from a very personal and a subjective point of view. But then, writing objectively and dispassionately about Ghalib is itself an insult to his poetry and what it stands for.

After I had learnt Urdu, I made the Himalayan blunder of starting off with Ghalib. I say blunder, because after reading his poetry, others’ simply paled in comparison. The Ghalibean world was a veritable crucible of human emotions, and as much as I wanted to spread my net of awareness, the meaning of his poetry proved to be an elusive Anqa (a mythical phoenix-like bird) that I could never catch. There were verses which were deceptively simple, and then there were some which took months to reveal their true glory. One verse particularly stands out,

Aate hain ghaib se yeh mazameen khayaal mein,
Ghalib sareer-e-khama nawa-e-sarosh hai.

A crude translation would be:
(These themes come to mind from the world unseen,
Ghalib, the scratching of the pen is the voice of the heavenly angel)

In typical Ghalibean fashion, this verse took two torturous months to reveal itself to me.

Besides his poetry, what endeared me to Mirza was his personality. From what I infer through his letters, he comes across as a man with whom you could talk about the mysteries of the universe whilst at the same time have a conversation about the pretty girl (perhaps asaqi) you saw at a bar yesterday. Ghalib seemed to effortlessly straddle both worlds at once, and that is something which is very rare amongst poets indeed.

In matters of love, it was the vahshat (madness, frenzy) which makes Ghalib stand out. In fact, one of the most potent expressions of Ghalibean love can be found in the movie Dil Se, especially the song Satrangi Re, which reminded me of his sher on Laila-Majnoon,

Mana’-e-vahshat-e-kharaamiha-e-Laila kaun hai
Khana-e-majnoon-e-sahra gard be darwaza tha.

(Who was there to forbid the wild ‘walking’ of Laila,
There were no doors to the house of Majnoon, the desert wanderer)

This love of ‘Ghalib’ was at once personal and universal. It was ishq-e- mijaazi (mundane love) as well as ishq-e- haqiqi (true love, one for the creator). Although a man of faith, he was never a man of religion. Like countless Sufis before him, he recognized no distinctions of caste or creed. His poetry resonates with this message of universality. In one of his verses, he beautifully describes the relation of the Kaaba to its erstwhile idols.

Go vaan nahin, vaan ke nikaale hue to hain,
Kaabe se un buton ko bhi nisbat hai door ki

(Though they aren’t there, they have been expelled from there,
With the kaaba, even those idols enjoy a distant relationship.)

Today, on the 15^th of February, 142 years have passed since the death of Mirza Ghalib. However, his poetry has an appeal which is probably even more potent than it was during his own time. Probably this is because his poetry is reflective of the inherent nature of man itself. There is no human emotion that is left untouched in the Ghalibean universe. Love, misery, being, non-being…Every admirer of Mirza has a reason to keep coming back to him. In his own words,

Ganjina-ey maani ka tilism usey samjho
wo lufz jo Ghalib merey ash`ar mei`n aaway

(It’s a talisman of the treasury of meanings,
That word, ghalib, which happens to occur in my verses)

India:Getting screwed left, right and centre

2011-02-20T16:24:00.000-08:00

This article was initially published for Himal South Asian here

I had always assumed ‘getting screwed’ to be a good thing. In fact, most of my teenage years were spent in fruitless pursuit of this goal. However, as I grew, and my concerns became more cerebral, the term assumed new connotations, none of which were in any sense even remotely positive. ‘Getting screwed’ began to mean something nasty (though not in the way you were thinking), which your professors or seniors (basically people who are supposed to guide you) did to you.

Of late, I have noticed that India is going through such a dreadful phase of getting screwed by people left, right and centre. Obviously these people are none other than those for whom we soil our thumbs with ink once every five years, our dear politicians and leaders. For a seemingly disparate group, they have shown remarkable consensus on their cherished goal of sucking the nation dry, albeit using different techniques and methods. Some use their perverted ideologies, some oppose for the heck of opposition, and some simply rob us.

Let me first begin with those who always think that they are ‘right’. And yes, you guessed it; I am referring to the mother of all parivars, the Sangh Parivar. With their twisted ideology and their warped notions of macho nationalism, they have ensured that an 800 million strong stays in perpetual fear of its (imagined) enemies. Not satisfied with ideology alone, some ‘Swami Unlimited Joy’ probably thought that having a ‘blast’ was a more worthwhile idea. Now that his cover has been blown, the self righteous brigade probably thought it better to deflect attention by launching an ‘Ekta Yatra’ (loose translation: Trip for Unity), which ironically has divided the country more than uniting it.

Moving on from the right towards the centre, Lord Buddha had always stressed on the middle path and avoidance of extremes. However, I think he couldn’t have envisioned that those in the so-called ‘centre’ would have such a devastating impact on Indian politics. Headed by a famous economist, one of their ministers, affectionately called ‘King’ has mastered the art of siphoning money to such insane levels that one can only exclaim “Gee!” (Twice). Whoever knew that one could make so much money through cell phones?

Another annoying trait of the followers of the middle path is their advocacy of sycophancy as a legitimate means of advancement. Now historically, Indians have been firm believers in the philosophy of ‘Vasudeva Kutumbkam’, which means that ‘the whole world is my family’. Unfortunately, through some mistranslation of the original Sanskrit, members of this party inferred the motto to be ‘the Family is the world’. What a pity!

Lastly, I shall talk about those who are left behind. Before saying anything further, I should specify a few things. First of all the ‘left’ in the contemporary context has probably less to do with ideology and more to do with being a ‘fashion statement’ of sorts amongst a strange sect who otherwise call themselves ‘intellectuals’ (the writer of this lousy article being one). By this I refer to those people who, after giving a few speeches on Marx and talking about the proletariat, quickly slip off into their air-conditioned homes where ‘daddy capitalist’ earns enough to support their misplaced idealism. Apart from these pseudo leftists, there are those who still haven’t bought new calendars since the late eighties. A random stroll through the streets of Kolkata on any given day would be a good way to see members of this species up, close and personal.

Apart from the ones I have described, there are other specimens in the subcontinent who are just as colourful and interesting. However, due to constraints of space and time, I haven’t been able to do justice to this veritable ecosystem. Breaking the barriers of caste, creed and race, they truly are symbolic of the unity in diversity that is India. Omnipresent and omnipotent, they have become interwoven into the fabric of this great nation. Probably a sher which my father told me sums it up rather well,

Har Shaakh Pe Ullu Baitha Hai,
Anjaam-e-Gulistaan Kya Hoga?
(An owl sits on every branch,
What fate befalls this garden?)

Salman Taseer’s murder and societal schizophrenia in Pakistan

2011-01-17T12:08:00.000-08:00

Since the past two weeks or so, I have closely following the developments that unravelled after the assassination of Salman Taseer. After reading what seems like a zillion articles, I noticed that practically everyone was regurgitating the same thing. Following the assassination, predictably enough, the Pakistan media split across the old Urdu-English line, with conservative voices dominating the former and the liberal ones the latter. However surprisingly this time, there was a substantial amount of support for the assassin amongst the general populace. This baffled many in the liberal camp that had grown used to visualizing society in a naively dichotomous framework of an old silent innocent majority versus a reactionary vocal minority. It has always been my conviction that it is foolhardy (and a bit too generalizing) to force labels such as ‘moderate’/’extremist’ on the general populace, which numbers more than 150 million in the case of a country as large as Pakistan. I have always imagined the common man as a bit like the crowd in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar (‘Methinks there’s much reason in his sayings’), fickle and susceptible to emotional vicissitudes (refer my article aam aadmi).

While the reactions from the Urdu media regarding the whole issue were more or less anticipated, what struck me was that the liberal press in Pakistan had not been the most innovative in the way they dealt with the whole issue. The most common argument of the liberals was that this wasn’t the Pakistan that Jinnah had envisaged, and how the Quaid had always championed the cause of a secular Muslim state. More or less, these arguments are correct. Jinnah did not desire a theocratic Pakistan, but he clearly articulated his position only in his speech to the constituent assembly, which was given a mere four days before independence. Had he revealed his intentions of a secular ‘Pakistan’ sooner, it would have been politically unfeasible to mobilize support for the whole idea in the first place.

Anyway, what Jinnah did or did not want can be argued endlessly. But my point is that, it’s been sixty-four years since independence, and I think it’s about time Pakistan reconceptualized itself. While it is understandable that Jinnah’s position as the founder of the nation has its due weight, but at the same time these arguments have not been lapped up by anyone besides the intelligentsia as I highly doubt whether the common man can differentiate between a state for the 'interests of Muslims' and an Islamic state. However, this does not imply that secularism has no future in Pakistan, but it has to be formulated differently. For secularism to take roots in Pakistani society, the entire political discourse has to change first. Of late, there has been too much emphasis on ethnicities, religious denominations and identity politics as a whole. Interestingly, no one seems to talk about politics from the angle of socio-economics. There is very little discussion on labour rights, land reforms or other more pressing issues. In short, there is no genuine leftist ideology in Pakistani politics today. Sure enough, the right winged parties have filled this vacuum by using their own brand of 'opium for the masses'. There gradual intrusion has only exacerbated sectarian and communal tensions, To offer a comparison, the two states in India, which have been relatively free of communal politics, are precisely those two states that have a long history of left politics, i.e. Kerala and West Bengal.

Moving on, from what I have known and read, the media in Pakistan has always highlighted the Barelvis as a relatively moderate and peaceful sect, in comparison to other sects like the Deobandis and the Ahl-e-Hadis. However what surprised many liberals was the revelation that the killer Mumtaz Qadri was himself a Barelwi. Now fools as a group are generally secular, for they occur across all sectarian boundaries. However, my instinct is that the sensitivity of Barelwis to the issue of Namoos-e-Risalat has historical roots. The founder of the movement, Ahmed Riza himself was very particular about the high station of the Prophet, and this sensitivity might have trickled down along generations.

So where should Pakistan go from here? While I am no soothsayer, I think the only way the liberalists can realize their intentions is by working from the ground up, which is infinitely more difficult than writing fluff pieces on a blog(such as my own). Also, at least for the time being the blasphemy issue is a hot potato that no politician wants to hold. Whether desirable or not, amending the law might have serious repercussions for an already faltering state. So my advice: concentrate more on the structural changes- reform school curricula, focus on land reforms, and let democracy take roots. In short, create an atmosphere in which such topics can be discussed without the threat of bullets being lodged into your chest. In short, dont reach for the secret too soon, and don''t cry for the moon...

My article at open democracy

2010-12-14T10:32:00.001-08:00

yay!

http://www.opendemocracy.net/amit-julka/gay-orient

A verse

2010-10-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

I had written this verse about two years ago...and like all my great ideas, it occurred to me at the most unlikeliest of places (no need to mention that), at about three in the morning...

And for the non ahl-e-zubaan, it reads

"but parasti se aakhir hamein kya fa'ida?

gar khuda insaaN hota to aaina hi kaafi tha"

Here's a rough translation:

Of what use to us is idol worship?

Had god been a human, a mirror would have sufficed

Now I have been trying to convert this lone verse into a ghazal...However, like all my ambitious projects, this too has fallen into the trap of lethargy and your everyday procrastination

Oh and since we are on the topic, I have been thinking about keeping a takhallus(pen name)...Any suggestions people?

Sex?

2010-10-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, now that I have your attention (you pervs!) ...As I was sitting on my shit-pot, and contemplating in that zen like state, it occurred to me that inspite of all my liberal pretensions, how my mind and it's imagery was still very andro-centric(this does not imply that I m gay....)...Confused? Let me explain...Suppose someone mentions the word Christian to me, or Punjabi, Hindu, or Muslim...The image that I conjure in my head is always of a christian 'guy', a 'punjabi' guy, or a hindu/muslim guy....It's almost always a 'guy'(with the exception of an egyptian belly dancer.....thank god for that!)...So this got me thinking(surprise!surprise!)....How and when did we as human beings become so male centric....No wonder the world is such a screwed up place...It would have been so much better had the scenario been reversed....Let's say when someone says 'Mexico' to me, instead of picturing a drug dealer, I picture Salma Hayek(hmmm, interesting.....10 second day dreaming break............ok i m back.....)...racial prejudice resolved, and peace is achieved....Now if someone could tell this to Hamas or the Israelis....

p.s.sex is a three letter word...not four....there you go...the title is now justified

Ajj Raam te babar hasde ne

2010-10-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

My first poem in punjabi,

Ajj Raam te babar hasde ne,

ke ai hind de loki kiven vasde ne

pehlan kitaa mulk taqseem,

hun do gaj zameen de peeche,

adaaltan de vich shikanje kasde ne

raam ne akheya babur nu,oye yaara,

mere picche ai kyun paande aina pawaara,

meri paak ayodhya de vich

kaanu ai siyaasi saap daasde ne?

babar pher kainda raam nu,

oye sun mere praava,

kaanu apna sukoon lutana,

aithe hun koi reya na sayana

chal apni khair manaiye,

jedi raah apaan chhad chuke,

oiyo raah pher kyun jaiye?

Ajj Raam te babar hasde ne,

ke ai hind de loki kiven vasde ne

Man Kunto Maula - Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan (live)

2010-10-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

random one liner

2010-08-11T08:29:00.000-07:00

I like it when girls 'blow' 'things' out of proportion

Dil Dosti etc...

2010-08-09T09:04:00.001-07:00

I know this review is a little late, considering the movie released in 2007. Phir bhi, der aaye, durust aaye

Dil Dosti etc...

Set in modern Delhi(Dilli university to be precise), the movie juxtapositions many oddities together. To begin with, the character Sanjay Mishra(Shreyas Talpade), is your quintessential hinterland hero, emotional, with his earthy middle class values, providing a background for his (very ruthless) ambitions. Quite a contrast to this is the aimless Apurv, spectacularly potrayed by Imad Shah...He's cold, aimless, aloof and his mind operates in a space which is distinctly grey, but at the sametime colourful. He exemplifies the new liberal man, who's defining character is his ability to negotiate in that ethical neverland...Although I should add that though Apurv comes across as cold, he never appears calculating or Machiavellian....Sanjay's girlfriend Prerna is what I would call a perfect example of misplaced westernism in the garb of modernity, the kind you encounter most in the metros...Ishita Sharma, who plays Kintu, symbolizing the neo-teens...at the verge of sexual liberation, but still consider it important to cloak their expletives in mish mash of codes(if you remember Juno, and the scene where her friend goes 'Phuket Thailand'...)....

Overall the film potrays precisely the kind of societal changes going on in India...Also worth mentioning is the understated presence of Ghalib and Faiz by virtue of their verses being used at the apt places for love and revolution respectively.An urban elite who are too cocksure about their 'modern' values, a small town guy who holds on to his imagined traditional values, ambitious but often confused by big city people and their elitist habits...And in the end of it all, the intellectually ambiguous Apurv reducing everything to 'Sanjay is dead, and I survived'...So at the end it all boils down to cold facts, and nothing else....

Mornings

2010-06-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

"Amit, uth ja...hun.......'Amit!!!!!!!!!"....Probably he was dreaming, but mom's voice sounded particularly shrill at 7 am...He got up, his tshirt sticking to his back due to the sweat...."Saala AC kisne off kiya?", he wondered...Parts of him were particularly stiff in the morning, and so he stood up in a weird posture to avoid detection...Finally, he got up and picked the cup of tea from the tray...'too much milk', he made a mental note...Meanwhile, dad entered the room and dropped the newspaper pile on the bed...it was much like a piece of fresh meat surrounded by a pack of lions, everyone had their favourite piece, or so everyone thought.Sifting through the pile, dad quickly handed him the Urdu newspaper, while his eyes were fixed on the HT City in Dad's hands...He glanced at his share of the carcass...."chhatisgarh mein 35 afraad halaak"..."Damn!,was that Megan Fox in the lingerie", he sighed....Sipping his tea, he quickly glanced over the editorial....then he proceeded towards the last page...Obama, Israel and Iran....He raised his glass to finish what was left of his tea, then got up, entered the toilet and closed the door behind him....A new day had begun.

The new nurturing grounds for Urdu in India

2010-06-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

Since independence, the gradual demise of Urdu from the national mainstream has been a cause of concern to the lovers of the language. The downfall can be attributed to various reasons, but I am not going to delve into those. If we were to categorize the demise into two categories, it would be firstly the loss of Nastaliq(Urdu Script) knowing people, and secondly the gradual dissolution of Urdu speaking population into the Hindi fold.

The paradox over here lies in the close proximity of the language to Hindi, which has lead to the dilution of it's separate identity, but which I believe in the long run, may also aid it's revival. In order to achieve this, I have several proposals. The first one being the publication of joint Devnagari-Nastaliq newspapers. This idea can be extended to the electronic press, and we could have joint Hindi-Urdu news channels. I feel such channels may have great potential, since they can alternate between Hindi and Urdu news(like Star News and NDTV a few years back, when they used to alternate between Hindi and English). The added advantage is that unlike the Urdu newspapers( which have acquired a visible Islamic tinge in the recent times), the joint Hindi-Urdu platform can revive the status of Urdu as a secular language in the eyes of people. This combination would not only be beneficial to the cause of the language, but also to the news channels themselves, as they would be able to grab a significant demographic, numbering more than 50 million in India. Also, this would also increase the familiarity of Hindi speakers with the language.

The next issue which I seek to confront is the loss of literary Urdu from the national mainstream. I personally don't blame them, since publishing houses are also dictated by market pressures, and till they see a profit, I don't see them taking up a noble cause just for the heck of it. In my view, the revival of literary Urdu( which also includes areas like Urdu comics, Urdu magazines etc) should start from the Internet/blogosphere. Today blogs are providing an alternate medium of expression, and why should Urdu be left behind? This would also propagate the infusion of new themes and ideas in Urdu literature( like post-modernism, etc). Only a language which continuously reinvents itself can claim itself to be living. This would also increase the scope for concepts like 'bilingual' literature. For eg. an Urdu novel/short story with a contemporary theme may alternate between 'Urdu' and 'English' text.This would add a dimension of realism and contemporaneity in Urdu literature.

Also blogs dealing with Urdu literature could have the same texts in devnagari or any other script so that even those who are not familiar with the script could gain access to the wonderfully rich world of Urdu literature. Likewise, there can be any ideas....All I'm trying to offer is a new and a different approach to the problem of Urdu in India. If we have to save this language, we have to think afresh. Obviously, any criticism and ideas are most welcome.

P.S.I am going to put up the same article in Urdu soon...It would be my first so please be nice!!!

2010-05-30T10:55:00.001-07:00

I am a secularist...I support human stupidity of all kinds....
-Amit Julka

Oh that's so stereotypical

2010-05-21T00:45:00.000-07:00

Around 5 years ago, when I joined engineering, a friend of mine, Chhotu(Abhishek) asked me where I was from.I replied that I was a Punjabi...To which he said "Yaar tum log kya roz bhangra karte ho?"....I couldn't help but laugh at his comment....But that got me thinking...

One of the most confusing trends of contemporary society is the contempt generated towards stereotypes. Most half baked liberals(like yours truly) frequently snigger at the way society annoyingly puts people into mental piegon holes.While some stereotypes are generally harmless(Kanjus Marwari/Happy Sardars/Alcoholic Punjabis/Intellectual Bengalis)...others tend to be completely derogatory(Muslim=terrorist,jews=conniving,Amit=horny etc)...

Now although I agree in principle that one shouldn't judge a person on the basis of his identity but when you come to think of it, stereotypes are partly a natural consequence of our own minds.The mind loves to make patterns and draw conclusions and stereotypes are just an external manifestation of our (lack of)thought process.

As far as self proclaimed intelligentsia is concerned, there's a glaring double standard even in their approach. While most scoff at negative stereotyping, most of us don't bat an eyelid when it comes to 'positive' stereotypes. Aren't positive stereotypes equally to blame?Why should all South Indian be IIT'ians, all Muslims be poets/musicians and all Punjabis be good looking(people often get shocked when I tell them that I am one!)...We are equally to blame for this proliferation of 'positive stereotyping'...And maybe that is why some SAB TV/Yash Chopra comedies are so pathetic...The acts are so overdone that it's not even funny....

So that's all I had to say...Gotta get my chicken eating, burping, dancing, drinking Punjabi self to work now....

'As' you like it

2010-04-07T09:24:00.000-07:00

Please fill the answers in your comments

1)As irritating as

a)Prabhu Chawla

b)Sagarika Ghose

c)Ravi Kissen

d)Himesh(as judge on reality shows)

2)As fake accented as

a)Yours Truly!

b)Salman Khan

c)Diana Hayden

d)South Delhi Snobs

3)As pretentiously intellectual as

a)Yours Truly!(Second Nomination:yay!!!)

b)Mahesh Bhatt

c)Javed Akhtar

d)Shobha De

4)As 'all show,no go' as

a)Rakhi Sawant

b)The host of 'Sansani'

c)Uma Bharati/Zakir Naik

d)Himesh( as a singer)

5)As dumb as

a)Any 'Roadies' participant

b)Sagarika Ghose(2nd Nomination)

c)Anyone who went to see 'James'

6)As mediocre as

a)Diya Mirza

b)Vivek Oberoi

c)Tusshar Kapoor

d)Uday Chopra

7)As hot as

a)Me(any female choosing this is entitled to a free gift!)

b)Alessandra Ambrosio

c)Megan Fox

d)A white dwarf(only for gays n geeks)

8)As small as

a)your ahem ahem....

b)One of the above

c)All of the above

d)I dont have one

Don't

2010-04-07T03:22:00.001-07:00

Don't touch it yet,

That snuffed candle of the dungeon,

A warmth still pervades where it stood.

The frozen wax of memories,

Long forgotten,laden with cares

Still lies seething at it's base

Don't close your ears yet,

That silenced melody of yesteryears

Still resonates somewhere

Don't remove that veil

This mirage of abstractions,

Nothingness has many layers to shed

Don't drop those tears yet,

My corpse before you is still undead

Khayaali Pulao

2010-03-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

Just thought of this:Had Arundhati Roy been a dude, would she ever call her book "The God of Small Things"....

Original Julka Chess Jokes

2010-03-16T10:51:00.001-07:00

Q)In chess, what do you call a queen who's having an affair with her knight?

Ans:A Knight-Rider

Q)What is Vishwanathan Anand's strategy while pursuing females?

Ans:Check(out) n mate!

....so until next time....I m checkin out,n mating(hopefully!)

Holy Shit!

2010-03-04T23:35:00.000-08:00

Warning:If you are of the 'pious'/tight ass variety, I would suggest not going further.You have been warned!

Hello everyone, and welcome to the cosmic marketplace. Today I shall enlighten you on our bestseller product, 'The Big G'.

Since Big Gs are in such a huge demand everywhere, licenses for production were given to different companies, and needless to say competition breeds innovation. Today Gs come in more forms than ever before, and the mind boggling variety can be confusing for anyone. Hence, for your convenience, I shall take the various models one by one

First in the queue, we have company 'H'. Company H was founded 3500 years ago by nobody.It is quite a unique firm, offering 33 million variations(and counting) of their flagship product.Their Gs come in all shapes and sizes, and can often be custom built from scratch. The company is administered by 'Pun'dits, known for their acidic wit, especially towards customers belonging to the 'Shoodra' category, whom they generally shoo away. The firm has a flexible bad debts policy, and a person can write off a bad loan by taking a bath in the 'panga' river, named so because taking a bath in it's 'pristine industrial waters' often amounts to taking a 'panga'.Customers follow the policy of 'karMa', inspired by Deewar's famous dialogue "Mere paas Ma Hai!".

Moving on to our second company, we have the firm 'I', founded by some fellow called 'Mo'. The company has labelled their product as 'A', which stands for awesome!, which is to be spoken in a Barney Stinson accent. The company has been mired in some controvery these days, owing to the behaviour of their 'WahaB' division, which insists in killing customers of other firms known as 'InfyDels', who are nothing but employees of Infosys and Dell.They also kill some of their own followers called 'Shee-a' who they think are much too effeminate.When happy, the WahaB s sing their anthem "Oh Sama!" which invigorates them instantly. On the bright side, customers of I are promised equal treatment and provision for charity are provided. Followers are also adept at arts and crafts, which brings them a lot of fame.Initially the company faced some issues of synchronisation of 'A' with products of other firms, but the issue has been since resolved after the introduction of the 'Sufi' upgrade.

Now we come to a much smaller group known as 'Judes' (Inspired from the Beatles' hit single "Hey Jude!"). Although they are a small scale company, they have made their mark in the financial world. The company ran into some trouble in the 1930's when a madcap known as 'Shitler' nearly succedded in destroying them. However the Judes have since resurged and are now quite influential and powerful. The Judes ran into some land ownership issues when they usurped the land of the 'Palace Teens' and the two have been fighting ever since. Luckily, they have an Uncle Sam who helps them regularly by shutting up anyone who shouts "Human Rights!".

Moving on to the biggest behemoth of them all, 'The Big C'. Big C was founded by this dude known as 'J C' (not related to Jay Z) who was kind and tolerant but that 'crossed' some people who then tried to 'nail him'. The effort was a failure and soon Big C was up and running in three days.These days the organization is headed by a fellow who calls himself 'Pope', because he acts like a 'popat'(parrot).The "Pope' claims that the world started at 'Eden Gardens', Calcutta about 5000 years ago on the eve of an India Pakistan match.Anyone who opposes this is sent to 'hell' like 'Gaalileo', who was given a lot of 'Gaalis' by the pope.The company also runs a daemon process called 'Satan' in the background but it's checked by the firms very own antivirus software, iGod.

Besides these biggies,we also have smaller firms 'Sickism' and 'Duddism'. Sickism was founded by people who were sick of the products of 'H' and 'I'.Followers of sickism call themselves 'Seekhs', out of their love for seekh kebabs.Seekhs are also fond of dancing and that explains their motto "Wahe Guru Ji Da Salsa,Wahe Guru ji di Fateh".Dudism was founded in India, got exported to China who then eventually put an embargo on it. Customers of Duddism are often confused since they expect their product 'Big G' but are only delivered a bunch of CDs by this band called 'Nirvana'.Followers often become the victims of road accidents since they are supposed to walk on the 'middle path'.

Lastly, there is the new startup called 'Messrs A-Theests and Egg-Nostics'.They are given this title because they like to throw eggs on the customers of every other firm.Critics claim this new venture is a farce because A-Theest sells a product which is nothing but an empty box,with no Big G inside while egg nostics never keep their eggs in one basket.Egg Nostics also confuse their customers by saying the Big G might be there in the box, or it might not be.

So to sum it up, this is all there is to this big bazaar.If you thought I was poking fun at your choices, you are absolutely right! Any inappropriateness is seriously unregretted!

Just a thought...

2010-02-23T09:36:00.000-08:00

"A pen is mightier than a sword"....just imagine if someone forgets to put the space between 'pen' and 'is'....

Gardish

2010-02-22T05:11:00.000-08:00

The earth about the sun,

The Sun about the galaxy,

The galaxy about the unseen.

A cosmic dance of the lovers,

Unfolding before my eyes.

Look up there,

A thousand majnuns are blazing in the night

With unceasing frenzy,

In search of what isn't there...

There is nothing around here but,

A thousand moths fluttering about a black flame

Superheroes

2010-02-09T09:06:00.000-08:00

So here's a my analytical analysis of our superheroes

Superman

Pros:

Can fly anywhere

Extreme strength

escape outlet for guys with boring jobs

Cons:

terrible fashion sense

can't pee without an elaborate undressing ritual

Wardrobe can be used to wipe mucus

Spiderman

Pros:

Geek turned superhero:extremely relate-able

better fashion sense than superman

Cons:

Won't be effective in rural areas due to lack of tall structures...what's he going to stick himself to,buffaloes?

Bad luck with the chics

Batman

Pros:

Cool Gadgets

Rich

Cons:

I think he's gay(I mean, he chose Robin as his sidekick when he could have had any hot chic....definitely raises some eyebrows!)

Is only cool at night

Chacha Chaudhary

Pros:

Chacha chaudhary ka dimagh computer se bhi zyaada tez chalta hai

Saabu

Rocket,the kutta...

uber cool desi attire

Cons:

chachi isnt that hot

no underwear over pants...wont sell in america!

And the winner is.........................drums...............other instruments..................

Shaktimaan

Pros:

Desi

Melodrama&Valour:all in one,he s the complete package

Cons

Desi

Melodrama

Graphics

Very preachy

I think the lack of chics points towards his gayness.....

"Sorry Shaktimaan"

And now for the women

Catwoman

Pros:

Sexy

Cons:

A cat ate my rabbit...hence have my reservations

Pamela Anderson

Pros:

Ahem,...Ahem

Lifesaver

Cons:

Only works at the beach

And the winner is......

Neema Sandal Girl,for her winning catch phrase:

"main hoon neema sandal girl,neema sandal girl....21st century girl....mera hai yeh saara world....neema sandal girl"....ad featuring preeti jhangiani(puke puke!)

P.S.I forgot Captain Planet,but he's just too sad...

Naqsh Faryadi!

2010-02-04T07:40:00.000-08:00

Hi,

You may have noticed that I ve changed my blog title to 'Naqsh Faryadi' and I presume that most of you would be wondering,why?

Well,'Naqsh faryadi' is an allusion to the first verse of ghalib's urdu diwan

Naqsh faryadi hai kis ki shokhi-e-tehreer ka,
Kaghazi hai pairhan har paikar-e-tasveer ka

I m sure that raised more questions than answers!...Here's the translation & the explanation...

Translation:

Against whose playful writings are the words complainants?
Made of paper attire is the countenance of every image

Well,the two key words are 'naqsh' and 'faryadi'.Naqsh means 'words'/inscriptions and 'faryadi' means a plaintiff/complainant.So it's the words who are complaining against the nature of this universe,asking why was it created in such a mischievous fashion.And that sums up the very essence of this 'blog'.....

If you want a detailed explanation of this hauntingly beautiful verse,i suggest
visiting Fran Pritchett's link....it'll be worth the effort

list of things that might go with my generation

2010-01-29T09:10:00.000-08:00

1)Phantom ki meethi Cigarettes

2)Bante wala soda

3)Chitrahaar

4)Mario

5)Crax/Fun flips

6)Thele waali ice cream

7)nikkar-bu shirt (half pants and bush shirt)

8)rerri wale popcorns(popcorns sold on carts)

9)speaking in hindustani/hindi ( atleast in bombay/snobbish south delhi)

10)bandar ka madaari

11)doodh-rusk

12)Food laced with dollops of desi ghee

13)hindi comic books(naagraaj, chacha chaudhary,phantom)

14)sensible tv

15)those weekly films on doordarshan(and the way the climax would always

get interrupted by "aur yeh hain aaj ke samaachar")

16)Hatim-tai(probably the only film of jitendra which i like)

17)A gadget less childhood

18)Alladin and ducktales in Hindi(also Small Wonder)

19)Chooran ki goliyaan

20)learning maths in chaste Punjabi(my father telling "ainu taqseem

kar"...and me wondering whether to add,subtract,divide or multiply)

21)Grandparents who know the whole of Indian mythology and so many stories

22)Grandparents who don't talk in English

23)Shaktimaan

24)the excitement when a relative would go 'abroad'

25)sweaters knit by granny/mom

26)being dragged to sabzi mandi by parents on a sunday morning(and then

told to sit in the car!)

27)Walkmans(oh how cool they used to look!)

28)Singing 'Ice Ice Baby'/Backstreet Boys(hate to admit this)

29)listening to unique urdu ramayan of my grandfather

30)Campa-Cola

31)Jolly-the hand game

32)Circus

33)Tom&Jerry(the original Hanna Barbera ones)

34)Pitthu, Chhuppan Chhupai and Oonch neech ka papda(i didnt play that much gilli danda)

35)Pretending that every sofa was a cockpit of my imaginary fighter aircraft(also tried designing my own fighter aircraft, but the project got scrapped because of slight oversight in cost estimation)

36)Planning to start my own dot-com in the 7th standard

37)Fantasizing about my very own Dexter's lab(it would be called Amit' lab ofcourse)

38)Playing Military Military with Raghav(with imaginary girlfriends whom we would rescue)

39)Conjuring war scenarios of India with the world(thankfully i m a lil less jingoistic now)

40)Arguing who would win, Superman or Batman....

41)The whole rumour about undertaker's ghosthood

42)Rumours about dinosaurs coming back to life

43)Alif Laila

44)Kite flying(patang udana)

45)Trump cards

46)Bante/Kanche:Marbles

47)Geete(game with a ball and stones)

48)Getting excited at weddings,and tring to hog the limelight by sitting between the bride and the groom(Neetu,mind it!)

49)G.I.Joe

50)Thaapi waala Cricket

51)Pen fight,book cricket,name place animal thing

52)Thinking kids were a result of an elaborate pooja,where 'bhagwanji' would come and gift them(now i know why old people are so religious!)

53)Wondering why this pooja would always happen after marriage

54)"Girlfriend boyfriend haw haw"

55)Manual rickshaws

....to be continued

Click!

2010-01-17T00:58:00.000-08:00

My first experiment with photography, or something like that
http://pikchurr.blogspot.com

I won't be

2010-01-11T22:42:00.001-08:00

Why despair now?
There is no love,
Where I won't be.

Go away from this web,
Come meet me there,
Where I won't be.

Stop hiding from the mirror,
You can't see that reflection,
Where I won't be.

Beyond here,Beyond there,
Beyond beyond,
Where I won't be.

The Curious Case of the Aam Aadmi

2010-01-10T22:25:00.000-08:00

It is an oft said cliche.The jholiwala intellectuals say it,the
politicians say it and we,the 'aam aadmi' say
it(rather enthusiastically).That the common man,or
the 'aam aadmi'is peace loving, honest, secular,
and so on.I find this notion rather absurd and
fanciful.To say that the actions of an average
human being are governed by the principles of
justice, peace, or whatever that keeps our society
stable is a bit like indulging in collective
narcissism.True, our society, for the most part
appears to be a stable place with a semblance of
order in it.However our motivations behind
maintaining such an apparent stability are
unfortunately, not so lofty.

The most dominant instinct that governs a living organism
is survival. A lion eats a deer because of it,and
rhizobium bacteria(if that's the name)
symbiotic-ally lives on legume roots because of
it.The same instinct produces two contrasting
actions.In the first case,it results in the
domination of the hunter over the hunted and in the
second case,co-operation.

Although it's been a long time since we had to
fight tigers,the survival instinct in the human
being takes root in form of self-interest.This self
interest takes form of different abstractions like
financial survival,social survival etc...So,if this
self interest motive favours, or rather seems to
favour peace, we are peaceful. The moment it
favours aggression, we go back to our
warmongering.How else would one explain
abominations like the caste system,and female
exploitation.The males thought, our self interest
is served well with keeping female empowerment in
check and the bourgeois think that having a
perpetual army of servants serves their needs.If the
aam aadmi had any belief in his so called ideals,
the caste system would have been a relic of the
past.

Same goes for secularism/communalism.We are
secular when we are dependent on the other
community but turn into communalists when it suits
us.The same person who has reservations about
having a Muslim/Christian neighbour because of his
'non vegetarian' habits won't bat an eyelid when
he's in America/Europe, because come on, dollars
can make you forgive cow slaughter.

It's quite obvious that the self interest motive is
governed by the dynamics of power.As they say,
jiski laathi uski bhains. Power is the biggest
justification for any cause. From the level of the
individual to the nation, everything is governed by
power. Britain appeased Hitler when it suited
them,but the moment their survival was in question,
they realized the tyrant that he was.The Jews,the
most unfortunate victims of the Holocaust didn't
bat an eyelid while displacing the
Palestinians.Injustice is an accepted norm
as long as it doesn't affect us or those around us.

One might think that I am very pessimistic about
humanity and the world in general.Alas, you are
wrong.I have faith, but not in our good but in our
love for our self interest.If manipulated properly,
the same interest which divides us, can unite
us.Our society can only be the 'better' place that
we want to it when we start believing that our self
interest is dependent on the self interest of
others.After all, it was Jim Carrey in his film Ace
Ventura who said,"It is the mucus which binds us".
How true.

Just...

2010-01-05T22:03:00.000-08:00

I don't bother about love,
Just stop this madness

I am not in wait of dawn,
Just light away this darkness

I have no faith in truth,
Just remove this falseness

I don't expect the universe,
Just fill into this nothingness

I don't desire union,
Just cure my loneliness

I am the swirling dervish,
Just absolve me of existence.

Fana

2009-12-24T03:22:00.000-08:00

You and I ...

You.I...

YouI...

You.

(Fana means self annihilation in Urdu/Persian)

Draft Poem

2009-12-19T10:05:00.000-08:00

I traded the wine flask for the water goblet,
Gave up my hallucinations for an illusion.

Cursed be this hope!If you call it that,
I'm the rooster who mistook the burning taper for dawn.

A mere breeze toppled them across,
My ivory towers turned out to be fickle bubbles.

Seeing the holes in the garbs of others,
I tried to take refuge from my own nakedness.

Oops!It's poetry

2009-12-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

As a person who has had more than 10 years of experience in pretending to know computers and 2 years of experience in pretending to be a poet,I have found some similarities between the two.Now I know, purists from both sides might scoff at me,but since it's my blog & we don't live in China, I am going to write it anyway.

Now the kind of poetry I prefer is of the type which can be interpreted in different ways,according to the reader.For eg, take Ghalib's famous lines

ham ko malūm hai jannat kī ḥaqīqat lekin
dil ke ḳhush rakhne ko ġhālib yeh ḳhayāl achchhā hai

I first read this couplet a year and a half ago.And since then, each time I have looked at it, the sher's meaning has morphed, and as my life takes a different turn each time, this sher, whilst remaining the same in form,has changed in context.

This reminds me of Abstract Data Types(ADT), which forms the base of Polymorphism, an important aspect of Object Oriented Programming(OOPS).Abstract Data Types,are much like clay.Just as a child moulds clay into his own desired shape,programmers similarly use ADT's according to their requirements, while keeping their basic structure the same.

Now while I know that most people have dozed off right now, but still, I found the similarity too fascinating.Just how one can connect too seemingly unrelated entities gives me hope that someday,maybe me and Katrina Kaif....What say?

Cookiejh,Jee tv,and Pure Vehhjjjjj..Run!The pronunciation monsters are back in town!

2009-12-11T10:11:00.000-08:00

As a child who grew up in a very North Indian environment, I, like many others of our generation were exposed to a lot of butchering of our names.Thus, you have 'Amit' being pronounced as 'Amat', Kapil would become 'kapal' (pronounced like couple) and 'nikhil' would become 'nikhal'. However, this trend was more or less limited to our grandparents, most of whom had migrated after Partition. The reason for this became apparent to me much later on, while I was learning Urdu.You see,in Urdu(or the Nastaliq script,to be precise), there is a general under-emphasis on vowel sounds, especially the short ones. Normally,in everyday writing, people omit the diacritical marks for 'i' or 'u'. One generally has to guess where the 'i's' and the 'u's' are. Now since my grandparents grew up learning Urdu as the primary language for correspondence, it must have begun to subconsciously alter their pronunciations.

Coming back to the present generation, one can make a similar observation about people who pronounce 'z' as 'j'.I find it quite irritating when people say 'cookiej', 'jee tv'', and 'singh ij king'. This habit can be clearly attributed to the shortcomings in the devanagari script. Since the devanagari script doesn't have a proper alphabet for 'z', most people use the 'j' alphabet for that. Although, a 'dot' below the 'j' is used to denote the 'z' sound,it is normally forgotten and thus you have an entire generation of people who say 'hujoor,jee tv pe jakhmi film aa rahi hai' (mom,if you are reading,get the hint).

So as one can see,a script has a significant influence on the pronunciation.This is more true for Indic/Perso Arabic scripts rather than Roman ones.Since English script tends to be uniform(atleast as far as my observations go),one finds a lesser impact of it's script on the pronunciation.

************************************************************************

Oh since we are on this topic, Pune deserves a special mention as far as linguistic genocide is concerned.From Deewhine Raid Rojhejh(Divine Red Roses) to the Pure Vehhhhhjjj(Pure Veg) signboards, Pune is the official burial ground of refined speech in the country.And talking about signboards there was this place 'Anu's beauty parlour' near my house.Remove the apostrophe from the first word.Anu should have thought through.

Modernity,Political Correctness and Progress

2009-11-08T11:42:00.000-08:00

One of the prominent phenomenon of our modern times has been the emergence of political correctness.Although political correctness may have a pleasant effect in our increasingly multicultural world,it may have some unforeseen negative influence on slowing the pace of modernism(not to be confused with westernism).Let me explain

If one talks about ancient pagan cults or Greek mythology or the Roman Civilization,you ll find that normally people don't mind calling a spade a spade.So one will have no qualms about calling the Romans blood-thirsty brutes whose form of entertainment may be called absolutely unacceptable by today's standards.However,if we were to use the same logical premise for some of our contemporary customs,people immediately draw their swords at you.Let's say we go ahead in time by 3000 years.Let us assume that by 5000AD,all our present day religions have vanished.Now in such a society,would we shirk away from calling most of our religious texts as nice allegorical tales with little or no factual truth in them.But right now,because of our so called political correctness,most of these texts stay impervious to closer scrutiny.Yes,I agree,any such sort of revelation might cause a tumult in the society(You just can't tell the pope "Look dude!,that Genesis story is nice and all,but it didn't happen").It's like telling a kid that Santa Claus doesn't exist.The difference is,the kid grows up,but the priest doesn't.
But what you can have is a deliberated,well reasoned public discussion,without people jumping to conclusions and branding you as racist/communal/etc.Otherwise,we may just slip into this useless rut of trying to please everybody and not getting anywhere.By,the way,for the record,the shitty author who wrote this is one of the most politically correct jackasses you'll ever come across.But it's nice to contradict oneself,isn't it?

Going Vintage

2009-10-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

The other day I saw this documentary on Begum Akhtar.It featured these old records of Begum Akhtar and they were purely mesmerizing.What I noticed that what enhanced their appeal was that they were old recordings,and their was a certain distortion in the recording.The distortion actually gave a charming antiquated effect to the songs.Come to think of it,I would not prefer to listen to Begum Akhtar's songs on a Bose,simply because in their pursuit of improvement, they might destroy the charm.

Another thing similar to this is listening to the radio(not the private ones,but the old government stations).It is sometimes more pleasurable to hear a song on the radio,because of two reasons.One,it is unexpected,so the joy gets doubled.Secondly,the radio produces the same vintage charm that the gramophone or record players did.It has more character.Also,sometimes listening to your favourite song on the radio,in the dead of the night,with only the voice of the RJ(normally Government Radio Jockeys are fluent in Hindustani,unlike the private ones,which adds to the charm) produces that hauntingly romantic effect,just like Ai Ajnabi in Dil Se,with Shahrukh Khan as the jockey,and Manisha Koirala listening to the Radio.

Zulf-e-Nastaliq

2009-10-22T07:19:00.000-07:00

The ink leaves my pen,
Undulating like your tresses,

Mirroring the beauty of Nastaliq,
They fall on my shoulders.

The blackness of the letters against the paper
Your hair spread against the splendid sun.

The dots shine against the light
Did I just see a glint in those eyes?

Nastaliq:Urdu Script

Yeh Chanda Kanoon Hai

2009-10-17T23:52:00.000-07:00

There's this new show on SAB TV called 'Yeh Chanda Kanoon Hai",featuring actors like Ashif Sheikh, Tikku Talsania, and Juhi Parmar.Although I am not a fan of the SAB comedies(most of them tend to be a part of the overt Punjabi caricature camp,and the others are plain boring),this show has proved to be an exception, especially because of the performance of the actors, and the little quirks in their characters.For eg,Tikku Talsania who plays the judge with a blatant fondness for Juhi Parmar,also has this habit of mispronunciation of Urdu words(yes,my subconscious pro-Urdu bias is at play!).

Let's hope this show continues it's fresh and innovative approach and doesn't fall prey to all those habits which Indian comedies are normally prone to.So far, only Sarabhai and Sarabhai,and Dekh Bhai Dekh have been successful in doing that.Yes Boss was slso good,although I haven't seen it in a long time.Oh,I almost forgot.A special mention to those 2 assistants of the judge(forgot what they are called in Hindustani).They are simply superb.
***************************************************************************
My second consecutive non-philosophical article.Three cheers to materialism!

From Television to Idiot Box.From DD to Cable

2009-09-16T02:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the 50th anniversary of Doordarshan or rather,television broadcasting in India.On the occassiom,here was a wonderful documentary on DD about the evolution of television in India.There were clips from old time DD productions like Hum Log,Buniyaad,Tamas,Mirza Ghalib etc.
Seeing those clips made me realize the amazing amount of crap that passes as entertainment these days.And also the transition of 'television' to 'idiot box'.How did we move from 'Tamas',which raised the issue of communalism in India,to 'Rakhi ka Swayamwar'.When did interviews by Noam Chomsky get replaced by those of Payal Rohatgi.It's indeed a sad state of affairs.The only kind of people you see on TV today are hyper/boorish/dancing punjabis(and being one myself,I seriously can't tolerate another ounce of pseudo punjabis on TV/films) or funny accented South Indians,overtly traditional women or out rightly evil/westernized vamps.When was the last time you saw an Assamese doctor or a Muslim engineer or a Punjabi intellectual.Why can't TV move out of stereotyping.And yes I agree,private channels have to market to consumers but can't the messages be delivered in a subtle manner.
Until then all I can say is,'Is Jungle se mujhe bachao'

2009-09-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

Standing on the precipice,
Walking the tightrope

Between One-ness and Duality
Between existence and non-existence

A tumult reverbrates in this silence,
There is something to this nothingness

An instant is nothing but an illusion
Look!It's the ice melting in the river.

umm...

2009-07-24T12:35:00.001-07:00

The only proof of God's existence is irony.
Amit Julka

Was Muhammed a Marxist?

2009-07-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

Note:The following article is an exercise in pure speculation.My knowledge about both Marxism and Islam is optimistically speaking,limited.I hope the readers forgive me for my incompetence.

A few days ago,I chanced upon a biography of Muhammed by Maxime Rodinson.It was a scholarly work and quite a refreshing change from the diatribes or the adoration that he seems to generate on the internet(and I tend to find both a little repugnant).As I was reading about his life, it dawned upon me that initially,his movement stemmed from socio economic causes(rather than divine ones) and the class struggle that engulfed Arab/Meccan society at that time.

Now what I understand of the pre Islamic Meccan society is that it was a tribalistic society and each tribe had it's own God whom it would appease. Thus, to Muhammed,these idols of these Meccan/Arabic gods probably became symbols of the struggle between these tribes,which is a rudimentary example of the modern day class struggle[between the haves and the have nots].The difference lies in the fact that while Muhammed replaced all these Gods by one God in order to unify society,Marx did away with the whole 'God' business altogether.

Also the concepts of 'Ummah' and the lack of statehood in Islam has striking similarities to the concept of 'Pure Communism',which envisions a stateless,classless society(much like Islam).The 'Proletriat' or the democracy of the masses is a lot similar to Ummah.Now coming back to the 'God' concept,this is probably where Marx and Muhammed diverge.Marx's theories,being purely intellectual conceptions were and as a matter of fact,still are open to scrutiny.However,Muhammed's theories covered a whole spectrum,from being purely political to out rightly religious.Thus it added a religious and divine dimension to his theories which made them impervious to scrutiny.

To sum up,we could say that the only difference between Marx and Muhammed was that the latter believed in one God more

2009-05-28T00:55:00.000-07:00

The might of existence is nothing,
but for my fragile thoughts

The oppressor ceases to be,
but for the oppressed

The glory of the prism,
lies stripped at the hands of darkness

This storm would have quelled a long time ago,
but for my arrogance.

The Capitalist God.

2009-05-06T11:04:00.000-07:00

ham ko maʿlūm hai jannat kī ḥaqīqat lekin
dil ke ḳhush rakhne ko ġhālib yeh ḳhayāl achchhā hai

The other day,I was watching the documentary 'religulous'.I found it rather funny and though provoking but sadly,it had a rather monolithic view of things.However, it did manage to arouse the skeptic in me.One of the points the documentary made was the flawed concept of God in most religions.Although they did have a strong argument, I still found it difficult to debunk the concept of God altogether. There were still many things which can't be left on chance. Take the whole DNA concept, for example.Billions of molecules ordering themselves with a perfect arrangement trillions of times per second. I am sorry,but I refuse to buy that they just fell together 'by chance'.
So I thought, maybe God is the 'intelligence' which governs the world around us. The concept looked elegant and beautiful at the first glance, but soon it lost much of it's charm. Because if that's true then this intelligence is responsible for everything from the creation of the Himalayas to the holocaust.
It was after this that this intelligence started resembling a rather complex and brutal algorithm which has a particular objective which is to be attained with maximum efficiency.
So if this intelligence governs the natural world then we can conclude that this intelligence is highly capitalistic.Look around you, and you'll observe it's all about maximizing profit.The whole process of creation of life is itself grained in capitalism. The male gets attracted to a female he/she deems attractive. The female goes for the fittest male ensuring the healthiest offspring. The rest, like feelings,emotions etc. are just convenient human abstractions.Maybe this is why communism is inherently dead. It is against the law of nature.

ālam ġhubār-e vaḥshat-e majnūñ hai sar-ba-sar
kab tak ḳhayāl-e t̤urrah-e lailā kare koī
Meaning

The second aspect is to determine the objective of this central intelligence.Even if we assume my oft mentioned 'law of entropy'(which assumes things fall into disorder',the fact is that things can't get disordered beyond a certain limit.After a while,even randomness becomes predictable and things tend to take some shape of their own.

haiñ zavāl-āmādah ajzā āfirīnish ke tamām
mihr-e gardūñ hai chirāġh-e rahguzār-e bād yāñ
Meaning
***********************************************************************************

Prejudice

All this talk about ending 'prejudice' is inherently meaningless.Everyone has a prejudice(Indians especially).Even the pseudo liberals(e.g.me) have their skeletons in the closet.Many people scoff at others who have gender prejudice. In fact, most people whom I have met protest vehemently against any gender prejudice.However the same person might make a casual remark about blacks/people of African origin without batting an eyelid.It's just that people with a gender prejudice are on the wrong side of political correctness.

This reminds me of this time I was having a conversation with a driver.He was from UP.It was that time when Raj Thackeray's anti North Indian rhetoric was at it's peak.So he was complaining about the Maharashtrians ill treating the North Indians and how it was unfair that they were getting prejudiced for no reason. A few days prior to this, the same guy was ranting something about how the Muslims were the root of all problems. Most of us are like him. We all have our prejudices and no one gives a sh*t until he/she becomes the victim himself.

2009-04-09T14:44:00.000-07:00

'Happiness' is a 'double edged sword'. Period.

2009-03-18T09:53:00.000-07:00

The divine and the vulgar both,
Derives sustenance from the same force.

The light and the dark
Emanating from the same breath

The purity of the snowflake, the dirt of the gutter,
All flows into the same ocean.

Language is a pollutant,
For virgin thoughts contemplated,
Through silence.

Creation & The Myth

2009-01-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite questions since childhood,and probably the most enduring mysteries of all time is 'What existed before the universe?'.I was also frustrated by this question.Then a few days ago,I had my 'eureka' moment(and no I didn't run out of the shower naked!).It occurred to me that the answer lies in examining the question carefully.First,let us look at the word 'existed'.Now,existence is something which is associated with the dimension of space,i.e. an object always exists between the realms of the spatial dimensions(length,breadth,height).The second word,'before' is associated with the dimension that we call time.The mistake most people mistake is that they assume that the dimensions of 'space' and 'time' existed before the creation of the universe.Infact,it is entirely possible that creation of universe resulted in the creation of space and time.Thus,any question of anything 'existing' 'before' the universe seems irrelevant.

This argument can also be extended to God.Since 'existence' is the property of 'space',and if we assume that god transcends these dimensions of space(and also time),then we can safely say that God doesn't 'exist',and nothing was 'before' him,since 'before' and 'after' refer to time,an entity that God presumably created.Thus paradoxically, we find that this apparently atheistic point of view is closer to the mystical conception of god espoused by the Vedantists,the Sufis and the Kabbalists
**********************************************************************************

While we are talking about God and religion,let us shift our attention to another very important aspect,mythology.Now mythology is something that exists in probably all major cultures.The semitic religions(Christianity,Islam and Judaism) have their own mythology concerning figures like Noah,Adam and Eve,Moses etc.The Greeks had Apollo and Jupiter as their heroes.The Hindus have too many to even count(The Ramayana,Mahabharat are just the tip of the iceberg!).

The problem with myths is that people take them too literally.Myths were written as a fictional accounts(or unusually exaggerated accounts of historical events),written so that people could digest religion easily,since people in general cannot be expected to understand the esoteric ideas and the higher reality which the myth symbolizes.Also, myths serve as commentaries on the socio-political conditions of the time and the region.Hence,I don't deny that there wasn't a war in ancient India,but probably it wasn't as grand in scale as is mentioned in our epics.And probably there weren't any great floods or the creation of Adam and Eve in the literal sense of the term.It's all just a symbolic representation of something deeper.

Now what is interesting is how myths developed.In semitic cultures,myths were precursors of a more subtle,refined religious thought.Thus you have traditional religious thought giving way to ideas like Sufism and Kabbalah.However in oriental cultures like Buddhism,which started with a very refined philosophy,myths developed later as offshoots so that religion becomes more personalized and easily digestible for the common man.As far as hinduism is concerned,there is again a very unique pattern.The early Vedic period was characterised by subtle philosophy and whatever mythology existed was certainly very rudimentary(the concept of the seven elemental gods could be put under the myth category).The mystical element in Hinduism probably reached its zenith with the Upanishads.However,in the later Vedic period we find that complex mythology(The Ramayan and The Mahabharat) develops during the course of 500 to 600 years.This period coincides with the rise of Buddhism and Jainism when Hinduism was on decline.Thus probably these myths were written so that the conception of God becomes more personal rather than the esoteric ideas of Upanishads and consequently of Buddhism and Jainism.

Thus we find that the present anthromorphic conception of God in hinduism was a result of people's need of a more humanized and personal God,which was especially comforting during times of foreign invasions,when people need something concrete to cling on to,rather than just dry philosophy.This is probably why Buddhism declined in India.It's conception of God,while not incorrect was too impersonal and remote in times of trouble.

Time(Whatever that is!)

2008-12-09T05:23:00.000-08:00

Some people believe in destiny,others believe they can shape their lives according to their will,and others are confused about what to do or believe in.I fall in this category,constantly walking the tightrope between the two camps.

Now,what we believe in(i.e. fate vs. absolute control on future) can change the way we look at time.Now,for people who believe that there is no such thing as time,the conventional linear arrow of time model suffices,where the future depends on the conditions in the past,and this is consistent with the laws of physics.But for people who believe in destiny,their fundamental premise is that all actions of the past and present are made to reach a definite predetermined future state.Herein lies the problem.You see,this makes the future constant,therefore if you really think about it,the future starts acting like the past,constant and fixed.In a way,this also goes against the principle of thermodynamics,which states that the entropy in a closed system increases with time.

Thus,now our entire model of time changes,because now,the past has to act according to our predestined future,not the other way round.Thus the past,in a way becomes dynamic,and thus acquires the characteristics previously attributed to future....

So does time follow th first model or the second model or neither....and let's not forget the more important question,whether anything like time exists at all....Anyways,more on that later.....Ciao,Khuda Hafiz and Eid Mubarak to all....

Oh God!

2008-10-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

Naqsh faryadi hai kis ki shokhi-e-tehreer ka,
Kaghazi hai pairahan har paikar-e-tasveer ka

(Against whose playful writing are the words complainants, Dressed in paper attire are countenances of every image)

-Mirza Ghalib

You know,God is a funny guy(/girl).The universe he created is inherently an antithesis of his own self.While he basks in unity,the whole world struggles with the paradox of duality.There's good vs. evil,man and woman,heaven and hell,light and dark,pleasure and pain....and so on.What is fascinating is that these contradictions stem from seemingly neutral sources.Let's say a man gets stabbed.If you analyze carefully,it's just a piece of metal penetrating the flesh.On another level,it's just molecules colliding against each other.So why do I think it's evil?If the same knife would have been used to cut food to serve poor children,then it's good.In both cases,molecules follow some laws of physics and collide.So what gives the two actions their intrinsic good/evil characteristics.So is it the conditioning of our minds that makes us feel good or bad about something....?

So yeah,coming back to God.Why is his world a contradiction to his own self.Since he did it,he must have a good reason for doing so.So let's make some kind of a Freudian analysis of God's mind.Maybe,God didn't want to show his true self to everyone,so his world,as his external manifestation was his exact opposite.It's somewhat like a person being funny just to hide his serious side from people.Or it could be that god could be suffering from minor schizophrenia,and that is another duality in itself.So the million dollar(/rupees) question is that,why did he do so?Maybe he just wanted people to rise above the dualities to see his actual self,you know,make them work a little hard.

The basic assumption I have made all this time is the existence of God.So I shall take that assumption down from it's axiomatic pedestal down to the level of a hypothesis/theory.So let's say God is just a concept man conjured because of his basic psychological needs,and as the years passed on,the concept spread like wildfire.So if you think about it,does a concept have a life on it's own?Can we create something and give it life just by imagining it?And if this concept is all powerful,then it should mean that God derives his power just from our belief.So if we take that belief away,will God's power diminish?Will disbelief suck the life force out of this concept?On the other hand,if we can give life to a concept,then it must mean that there is something called life,or in other words,some kind of intelligence/life force running through this universe.This in itself is a symbol of creation,and thus a symbol of God himself.Thus our very argument for proving the non existence of God may prove his existence.
******************************************************************************
Coming back to dualities,one of the most prominent is good and evil.It is often said that good always triumphs over evil.But if good 'always' triumphs over evil,then it must mean that evil sprouts up again.So if you really look at it,it's just an infinite succession of good,evil,good,evil....it's much like looking at an infinitely long zebra crossing,you wouldn't know if it started with the white patch or the black patch,it's just an endless succession on white and black.The only thing that matters is where you stand.

Anyways,like always,my thoughts have made me more and more skeptical.My mind follows the classical laws of thermodynamics,i.e the entropy in a system increases with time.Phew!...that was a lot of geeky crap to take.So,I shall bore my readers(if any) no more and so until next time,Ciao Ciao!

The pursuit of 'Happiness'

2008-09-19T13:20:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in a person's life, when his entire perspective on things undergoes a complete metamorphosis, when his whole perspective changes, and things which seemed relevant a year and a half ago may seem trivial, like some vestiges of an era gone by, like an old scribble on a palimpsest, existing only as a mere shadow of it's former self.

This metamorphosis, may come from inside, or it may require a little help from outside. In my case, it was a bit of both. The outside was somewhat like fuel, without which, the logs of wood, are well, just logs of wood. Again, my definition of the ‘outside’ may be a little ambiguous, it may be a person, the environment , but I think it has one defining characteristic. This very entity, may directly or indirectly reveal your very soul to you.

I had some presumptions about my ‘soul’. It turns out that I was wrong. Imagine if you had these goggles, which allowed you to see everything, albeit in a particular shade. Now imagine that you had these goggles fitted on right since your birth. In such a scenario, one would believe that his world basically has one particular colour, only with slightly different shades. Now imagine that one fine day, someone takes these goggles of your eyes, and suddenly you see all these colours and hues, which you had never seen before. In a similar fashion, my presumptions about myself suddenly started to appear irrelevant, if not baseless.

I was a very ambitious person, which I believed was a very good thing. My whole life revolved around my plans, my future, the big company, fame, fortune, you know the routine. I don’t deny that it wasn’t exciting. There was that rush. But it was a little bit like opium. The rush, the feeling was all very fleeting. Another thing was my dependence on my absolute principles. Everything was either high or low, good or evil, black or white. Most things in life, I learnt later on, were a shade of grey.

So my love for materialistic glory gave way to things more subtle, and from ‘Gates’, I moved on to ‘Ghalib’. I am still on a pursuit no doubt, only the destination is different. I assume the destination is ‘happiness’, but then again some routes aren’t supposed to lead you to a particular destination. Or maybe ‘happiness’ is the route itself. Maybe ‘happiness’ is the origin, the destination and the route. This pursuit has different manifestations; it may be in music, in poetry, in language or anything else. This pursuit could be an ‘entity’ or a mere figment of my imagination.

I don’t think, this article, like my ‘pursuit’, should have a conclusion. I don’t know where my journey will lead me, hence this article should also, like the written spirit of my thoughts, shouldn’t end here…………………………………………………………………………or should it?

On analogies

2008-09-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

A civilisation can be a complex thing to understand.One way to gauge it's essence is to look at it's various aspects, like the people,the dress,the language and strangely enough,the script.

If one observes carefully, a script can tell a lot about the people who use it. To make my point a little clearer, let me give you an example about 2 scripts which are closely related to each other, and yet have subtle differences, i.e. the Naskh Script & the Nastaliq script.

For the unacquainted, Arabic is commonly written in the Naskh style and Persian is written in the Nastaliq script. If you look at the former, it is written in a very linear fashion. There is an inherent simplicity in it, although on the face of it, Arabic calligraphy may seem somewhat complex. On the other hand, Nastaliq script is highly ornate, with plenty of curves.

As Arabia is a desert, the way of life there in the ancient/medieval times was highly simplistic. Iran, on the other hand was known to appreciate luxury, and this is well reflected in their calligraphic style. Both the writing systems are beautiful, but the concept of beauty in both is different. The desert is certainly reflected in the Naskh style, while the sybaritic nature of Iran exhibits itself in the Nastaliq script. It's quite like comparing the Alps & Ladakh. While the beauty of the Alps lies in their abundance, it's the very elemental nature of Ladakh that gives it it's beauty.

**************************************************************
While we are on the topic of anal[ogies], here's an interesting one-

On the face of it,marriages and government systems are not closely related. But if you look carefully,they share a close resemblance to each other.

The Arranged vs Love marriage debate is something that is guaranteed to generate some heat.While I am quite a strong supporter of the latter[do not worry,my oh so anxious relatives, I am not bringing some weed addicted hippie home...no wait a minute,I might just ;)],both the systems can be compared to the systems of governance of India and China.

Arranged marriages can be compared to the government of China. It is statistically speaking,a very stable system,with a greater rate of tangible success. Also, since the control is generally autocratic,problems due to dissent are generally lesser.The problems,if any,are generally suppressed before they take a more serious shape.Arranged marriages are quite the same.Since it is generally the parents/relatives who are running the show,the sense of authority flows from top to down.Also,lesser disputes arise,since the decision is largely a collective one rather than personal.

Love marriages are a little bit like Indian democracy, messy and highly flawed.It is visibly less stable,as dissent is allowed.Also,since the power in a democracy is in the hands of the people,it is subject to the moods and fickleness of the public[akin to the mob in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar].Now,authority in this case flows from bottom up.Similarly,in a love marriage,the power lies with the couple & consequently the protests are more marked.Since the expectations are higher(unlike an autocratic system),it is more prone to discontent.Also,the couple,like the public can make their own decisions.Likewise,the way we elect our leaders and mates are overshadowed by our emotional prejudices and hence there is a tendency to make flawed judgements.

All said and done,I am still a strong believer in the strength of Indian democracy, inspite of all it's faults.A democracy is a more human approach,flawed and emotional while an arranged marriage is much like a computerised algorithm,efficient and it generally works...The choice is yours

2008-07-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

In case no one noticed,I changed the title of my blog. I think "I came,I learnt,I conquered" rhymes more with the theme of the blog,as compared to "I came,I saw,I conquered".

Reason?

2008-07-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

Since quite some time,a thought has disturbed my mind.It was
the thought of the 'absolutism' people place in their
religious texts.It is a dangerous thing,and on top of that,one
of the most widespread phenomena.In my opinion,(which in
itself is something that is prone to faults),I think over
dependence on religious texts,in the long run destroys mankind's
faculty to reason and debate.This in effect turns to
something more vicious,the stagnation of the thought process
of the whole community.Historically speaking,we are all too
familiar with what happened to Copernicus and Galileo.

India is no stranger to all this.The recent furore over the
Ram-Setu stands out as a case point.Since the 1990's,there has
been a gradual weakening of our social fabric,and I don't see
an end to this problem in the near future,thanks to our
politicians,though the blame is not entirely theirs.India,as a
society has become more reserved.This reservation,I may add,is
only for fellow communities.Western influences,with all their
merits and demerits have been generally well received.Another
community,the Arabs,who in the middle ages kept the flame of
discovery alive and kicking during those middle ages,in later
centuries gradually slipped when religious orthodoxy replaced
the spirit of inquiry.

This brings us to the bigger question,that is the conflict of
faith and reason.Contemporary thought has often placed the
latter above the former.Raja Ram Mohun Roy's 'Tuhfat-ul-
Muwahhidin' stands out as a case point.In this book,he rationalizes
religious thought and doesn't shy away from criticizing the
faulty religious practices prevalent during the day.Modern
thinkers have often said that reason should reign
supreme.Reason is viewed as something objective and faith is
something that is prejudiced with one's personal
convictions.However,if you really think about it,isn't reason
subject to the same weaknesses.Reason can also be influenced
by our biases,which may make them flawed.Also our dependence
on our 'reasons' is,in essence the 'faith' which we place in
our 'reasons'.So instead of conventional thinking which
dictates that the two are essentially different,we could say
that the two might complement each other.Our reasons in the
long run,may shape our faith in some philosophy and
conversely,our faith may shape the way we rationalize our
opinions.

You know,while writing this article I realized that my habit
of thinking too much makes me skeptical about most of my
established beliefs.This brings with it,a slight feeling of
mental unease and hampers sometimes my ability to make clear
cut decisions in philosophical matters.On the bright side,my
mind is,as the programmers call it,a beta version(akin to
Google products),always in a process of repair and
refinement,never taking a final form.It could also be compared
to Brownian motion,with all it's randomness,and an absence of
determinism.So on that note,in the words of the immortal Bugs
Bunny,"That's all folks!"

Saraltaa,Saadgi,Simplicity

2008-06-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

Well,the title should give you some hints about what I am going to write about,that is 'Saraltaa ki Sundarta' (Beauty of Simplicity).I attempt to explain this to you from my 3 favourite perspectives i.e. gastronomic,musical and literary.First let's take the gastronomic example.You know,I could eat all the tandoori chicken I want,yet my mom's rajma chawal is something that I can never get tired of.There's something so yum about it's rather 'uncomplicated' taste that I just can't get enough of.

Now let's move to the cinematic/musical example.I saw this movie Juno a few weeks ago.It's a brilliant movie,emotionally moving sans any melodrama of any kind(Mr.Karan Johar,plz take notice).The same goes for the movie's soundtrack.The movie's sound track is so earthy and simple.A special round of applause to Kimya Dawson.Her voice is so normal yet in a strange way,very individualistic.Out of all the singers,she definitely falls into the 'rajma chawal' category.

Finally let's come to the literary section.In literature I have come across several poets.But the ones that appeal to me the most are Kabir,Ghalib and Rumi.I mentioned Kabir first because I'm the most comfortable with him.The genius about him is that although his style is very rustic,the meaning is inherently deep.Ghalib is great but my command over Urdu is not yet deep enough for me to give you an accurate analysis about his works,but I think,out of all his couplets,'Ishq par zor nahin....' stands apart.About Rumi,well I have just read his translated works but they are stunningly simple yet profound.Maybe when I learn Farsi I shall know more.

Well I have said what I had to say.So,in keeping with the spirit of this article,I shall bore my readers no more.So till next time folks,Goodbye and remember the rule,KISS!(Keep it Simple Stupid!)

2008-05-16T09:13:00.000-07:00

I came across an old newspaper today.There was something in it about the list of Booker Prize nominees of 2006.Among others,there was 'The Inheritance of Loss' by Kiran Desai.There were other books in the list,but as far as I can recall,I haven't seen any of those at any Crosswords/Landmark.Kiran Desai is the only one who makes the cut.These bookstores exploit a unique trait of human psyche.We humans constantly seek comfort in groups.Kiran Desai is an Indian,therefore subconsciously I am curious about her.Obviously what we define as 'our group' is what interests me.For eg,when Tendulkar comes to bat,while I support him as an Indian,a maharashtrian might support him as a maharashtrian,and Vinod Kambli might support him as an old classmate.
Now let's apply this theory a little further.Well,everyday some new problem starts in our 'mulk'.Let's take the old secularism issue.We have the right-wing supporting the creation of a 'Hindu Ram Rajya'.Let's assume we give in to their demands,and we allocate a seperate country for the minorities and our new 'Ram Rajya' is created,consisting of only hindus.Now,the term 'hindu' is another googly in itself.There are high-caste&low-caste groups.Suppose they also want their piece of the pie.Theek hai,de diya.Now,in our "high-caste Hindu land',we have the high caste punjabis,high caste tamilians&high caste biharis.I hope you take my cue.
**********************************************************************************
I finally discovered the joys of writing.While writing the above article,I started on a light topic,got lost and ended up discussing something totally diffrent from what I had envisaged.

Piss...Language...Lost Innocence

2008-05-04T01:00:00.000-07:00

Has anyone seen the Mc. Dowell ad that goes "No.1,Mera No.1".What's the company trying to sell?......soda or ahem.....something else......
*******************************************************************
I have noticed a peculiar thing about the way I speak.All my tujhes and mujhes have been gradually replaced by 'tere ko' and 'mere ko'.......i think my hindustani gradually gave way to a lil daccani...something like this happened some 3 centuries ago which gave birth to what we now call Urdu.....so am i in the midst of a big linguistic revolution?......Only time will tell.
********************************************************************
Saw promos of a film called bhoothnath.......another crass bollywood attempt to ape the west......there was a scene in which they showed (indian)kids playing american football.......Seriously,how many kids here would be able to relate to that?......I seriously don't know why the 'yashraj' clan have to make everything so Dolce&Gabbana......whatever happened to an innocent childhood like mine.....climbing 'shahtoot'(mulberry) trees and playing with mud.....Even the kids these days seem to have none of the innocence(read:stupidity) of the kids of yesteryears....they are all so smart and taking the dance/piano/horse riding/advanced calculus classes...i wonder what will happen to retards like me(even that shitty holiday homework was too much for me).....This brings me to another topic...why is everything so 'anglicised' these days.....now i understand that english is the mother tongue of many communities like the catholics...so no problems there......but these days whenever i go to a party and i see these 3-4 year old kids and their mums talking to them in English...it just pisses me off....eventually these kids will grow up to have a rootless existence with nothing unique about them whatsoever......i hope i don't come off sounding like a 75 year old.....
*******************************************************************
Is it just me or whenever one listens to 'Yellow' by coldplay does one feel like bobbing his head from one shoulder to the other.....

Me-Part 2

2008-03-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

Born in the North,
Nurtured by the west,
Matured in solitude.

People call me various names-
the geek,the showman,
the intellectual,the madman.

I am in the melody of Mozart,
and in the acid of Eminem
I am all of that yet neither
I am a million mutinies-
Or am I?

2008-03-22T05:47:00.000-07:00

Since a long time,mankind has indulged in some form of mindless entertainment or the other.The Romans had their gladiators,the Spanish have the bull fighters,my mother has the K Serials,and my generation has Roadies-a crass show featuring some morons with a combined iq 0f 10.Actually,come to think about it,one can draw a no. of parellels between the last two.

Although,these 2 shows are less gruesome than their ancient peers,watching them is nothing short of intellectual genocide.While they may appear radically,their core values are quite the same,i.e. mindless politics.Everybody knows the deal with the K-Serials so I am not going to harp on that.So let's talk about roadies.Now,on the surface it may appear trendy,cool,adventurous+some other adjectives,yet if you peel the onion,one realises that it's just the same K-serial politics,the difference being the fictional versus the non fictional format.Also,while Ekta Kapoor is quite blatant about what she's doing,these roadies people have just kinda sugar coated the show with all that coolness quotient.The result:a soul-less,moribund(that's right!I do know some words.....)experience

So the next time you sneer at your mom for watching her soaps,remember,you aint much diffrent.......Ciao

Nothing in particular

2008-03-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

Something occurred to me the other day.Previously,history consisted of civilisations
emerging,prospering and then somewhere down the line the civilisation disappeared.

Nowadays that's just not possible.The world is so well connected that it would be

impossible for let's say,Bombay to vanish and then be rediscovered centuries later.

I think this will change the way History is studied.Also,it kinda takes the fun out

of the whole thing.I mean,discovering Mohenjo-daro was way cooler than

searching for the Kennedy assassination on the internet arhives.
***************************************************************************
A question had been nagging me for quite some time now.On TV,in the movies or any other
medium,gays were potrayed as strange,queer or overtly feminine.On the other hand,lesbians
have not been stereotyped or typecast into any such category.My friend Gupta a,k.a eda
saand gave quite a insightful reply.His theory was that since the society is still male
dominated,males are ok with lesbianism since it involves women....on the other hand not
many males have an attachment towards their gay peers,so probably they have to face the
flak
***************************************************************************
Today,me and my friend Rushank had a talk about the summer season.He made an interesting
observation.It was this.You know that smell of water coolers(people living in North/Central
India would know this) always meant freedom to him;.This was because he had associated that
smell with the summer holidays and thus reminded him of his freedom.One of the pecularities
of out brain I guess......stuff that seperates us from computers....atleast for now

Mom

2008-03-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

There is an ocean in my life,
An ocean of kindness,of wisdom.
Then there are rivers like me,
Emptying their flow into her.

The resilient ocean absorbs everything.
Unquestioningly she accepts what the rivers give it,
She doesn’t differentiate-
Whether the river gives her treasures or troubles.

This ocean has infinite patience,
But don’t disrespect her-
Invite her wrath and you shall see,
How the reservoir of life,
destroy what she herself created.

I am also a recipient of this ocean’s love.
An ocean whom I sometimes call ‘Mom’.

2008-03-02T00:17:00.000-08:00

The other day,I was watching Good Will Hunting(for the zillionth time....).....it's one of my favourites......the best part of the movie is the conversations that take place between Robbin Williams and Matt Damon.During one such conversation,Williams tells Damon about his deceased wife....he describes her as follows-"It's as if God put an angel on the face of this earth just for you....."
This scene reminded me about a particular conversation I had with an autowallah about 5-6 months ago.His name I guess was Javed.I was sittin in the auto when looking at a couple on a bike next to us he said,"yeh aaj kal ke jawan logon ko yeh sab timepass lagta hai"[The youngsters take all this for granted]...and I was like..ok,here's one of those "youngsters don't know shit" people...but I was soon proved wrong....He went on to tell me how he had met his wife(a Hindu) and that they were married[happily!] since fifteen years.Anyways one particular sentence that he said remains etched in my memory....he was describing his wife and he said:"Aisa lagta hai ki Allah ne ek pari sirf mere liye bheji hai...."..which literally is what williams was talking about....it might sound corny now but the conviction with which he said it put all doubts to rest....

I think there are 2 places where I've had the best conversations....one is the autorickshaw and the second one is the barbershop(not the fancy ones....)the conversations range from politics,cricket,love,bollywood,the 'seth'[owner] who has gone to saudi...Even if i don't agree with there selection of music[Bollywood's Hall of Shame Classics],the conversations make the whole thingquite an experience.Also,these two places and the train are the only 3 places whereyou can feel the pulse of a nation as complex and diverse as ours.These are the placeswhere you see the true manifestation of the 'The Argumentative Indian' that AmartyaSen was talking about......The highest density of heterodoxy per unit area....

So my advice to all my elitist friends[there are quite a few..] is...next time skip the Javed Habibs and opt for the friendly neighbourhood 'Hajaam'[barber] instead.Who knows what you may get to hear.....

2008-02-28T07:52:00.000-08:00

Strange is the heart of man,
He yearns for 'success'.

Like a foolish child
in the Garden of Eden.
he runs towards the horizon,
wanting to touch it.

Blind to the treasures that surround him,
He chases the mirage,the illusion.
Up above,maya laughs-
Her conspiracy consummated,yet again.

2008-02-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

As a kid I was always great with maps n stuff.I could draw the map of India when I was four. But you know what…. political boundaries are funny things. I disagree with utopians who say borders have no purpose and they just divide us. Pure bull. Without them,the world would have been like one giant studio apartment,no rooms and everything thrown into one giant mess, not much different from my own flat.It would have been chaotic, unmanageable and difficult to administer.Whoever conjured the idea of borders must have visualized it as a simple solution to organize land into manageable chunks.So far so good…..then some shit happened.

As a person, I have always been patriotic. I love my country, India.So what is India?That piece of land 32,87,243 sq.km (Ya,I know that…) in area,whose map I can draw with my eyes closed,down to the last intricate detail?....According to me that is a very abrupt and quite frankly a rigid idea.......For me the concept of India is a very fluid one….India for me is not that thing on the map…but the people and the culture that make it what it is.’India’ is the graceful kathak dancer and also the uncouth paanwallah in my ‘galli’.This concept of India is like a continuum roughly spread around the geographical area.It doesn’t stop abruptly at the wagah border but merges seamlessly into other cultures eventually. A Bangladeshi probably would react to Tagore in the same way someone from West Bengal would. The geographical entity ‘India’ doesn’t encapsulate the cultural ‘India’ but I think it goes the other way round. But the skewed importance we give to the former is from where the whole ‘bakheda’ (trouble) starts…..

So does that mean I don’t value territorial integrity?....Well I do….but for me that is the part of the deal…..not the whole….Anyways,the song in my playlist changed and
‘Nate Dogg’ doesn’t exactly go with serious intellectual topics….so till I get more fodder…..ciao….

2008-01-29T06:55:00.000-08:00

I wrote 2 poems in the mmc lecture
well,here goes

Me

Stereotypes,don't define me,
Traditions don't bind me.

Like a bird's feather,
drifting throught the wind
Like a drunkard walking on the streets,
There is an order in my chaos,
though only known to me

Second Poem:

Like a dreary desert,
this lecture seems to me
My thoughts wander elsewhere,
in the oasis of my dreams.

A woman!with eyes like wine
Her hair flows like a roaring river,
while I get lost in the currents.
Her Passion like an inferno
seems to have engulfed me.
Yet I don't complain

Why the saints promise us the heavens,
the heavens seem empty to me
In my dreams of madness,
my heaven seems to be.

Retro

2008-01-16T11:34:00.000-08:00

hey.....its been long...hell no....really long......................
well now that 2008 has finally ushered in....its time to rewind to 2007.....

well the year started on a 'shitty' note.....i was down with 3 backlogs of 2nd sem+3 new backlogs of 3rd sem+5 normal subjects.......enough to make a guy pee in his pants........on top of that my personal life took a lil hit....no points for guessin dat.......so back to academia.....well in the end i pulled of a major coup......cleared all subjects with 'just above the ground' colours......

The first half also saw a lil reunion wid a friend from bombay(aks)...thanks to orkut.....not a happy occassion for her though.........also met her friends.....including one with a 136 iq(billo).....one hell of a confused girl........kinda a fake intellectual like myself......

I also discovered my adventurous side.......went paragliding.......also saw and sat thru my first 'drift'...a la tokyo.......courtesy "eda saand urf schumacher".........5th sem was really fun......was independent and had a whole flat to myself.....enjoyed everythin...... late night drives......had coffee in a pool parlour at 2 am surrounded by 6"2' ethopians who smelt like 'pot'........also saw a vintage car collection at 4 am in the mornin,including a 1940's dodge in which indira gandhi was taken.......house got robbed.....and the thieves got caught.......went to a police station alone for the first time.....not as bad as you think.......met this really courteous cop,Mr.Sheikh......kinda changed my viewpoint about cops........

Well,during the first half I was hell bent on becoming an entrepreneur........but later on god knows what happened.......i got this whole new 'take it easy' enlightenment.....currently drifting aimlessly,but come to think of it....i have never enjoyed it more.....kinda have got a new perspective on stuff.....really into history&learnin classical languages like Persian/Urdu......haven't made much progress though.......also followed a 'marks' dont matter a damn philosophy this semester.....and miraculously i got good marks in the exams!......come to think of it,if this reverse psychology really works,i think i should start acting gay and maybe then i'll get some girls.....heehee......

ok.....gettin tired...so in the words of the great Emerson....oops sry..its Bugs Bunny............."That's all folks!"........

Veni Vidi Vici

2007-07-02T02:25:00.000-07:00

Hi,Welcome to my Blog

Hi,this is Amit.......19 years old,currently pretending to become a software engineer and dreaming about becoming an entrepreneur.....Interested in History,Physics,Economics,Astronomy,Current Affairs,Food etc......

By the way this is what i looked like a few kilos ago...

P.S.Veni Vidi Vici means "I came,I saw,I conquered" in Latin